The UnAustralian

Wednesday, March 26, 2003
Chicken Hawks

I'm not the biggest fan of the term Chicken Hawk to describe the vast majority of the pro-war camp, but the following (stolen from Worldgonewrong) is too good to be passed up on.

Q: How many weeks did it take George Will to go through boot camp?

A: None. Even though 2 million men of about his age served in Vietnam, Will never went into the military.

Q: How many Dick Cheneys does it take to fire a rifle?

A: We don't know - it's never been tried. Although Cheney was born in 1941, and became draft eligible in 1959, he received five deferments and never served in the military. He himself claimed in his debate with Joseph Lieberman, "I had other priorities."

Q: How many days did Rush Limbaugh spend on kitchen patrol?

A: None. You have to be in the military to serve KP - and Limbaugh was never in the military.

Q: How many bombs did George W. Bush drop on enemy forces in Vietnam?

A: None. Although Mr. Bush graduated from college at the height of the Vietnam War, he served in the Texas National Guard where he defended our southern border from Mexicans. After a while he got bored and never showed up.

Q: What years did Charles Krauthammer serve in the military?

A: Mr. Krauthammer's civilian career is unbroken.

Q: What ports did Trent Lott visit when he served in the Navy?

A: None. Mr. Lott did not serve in the military.

Q: What rank did Tom Delay attain when he served in the Army?

A: Mr. Delay was unable to serve. He had other priorities.

| 5:17 PM